You’re in the middle of the ocean. You can’t stop thinking about what you left behind and you can’t see the shore ahead. You want to turn around and go back. It feels like such a struggle to move ahead and you are starting to panic. But you have already come such a long way. It is too far to turn around. You have to find out what is on the other side. You know that the waters are going to be challenging. The weather unpredictable. Your body will grow tired. You will want to give up. But you have to keep going. If you turn around and go back to where it is safe, you’ll never find out what lies ahead. You can’t quit. You have to keep swimming ahead.
“You should only fall in love with someone who can see your soul. It should be someone who has reached inside you and holds those innermost parts of you no one could find before. It should be someone who doesn’t just know you, but wholly and completely understands you.”
I am like a little old lady who is reheating the coffee and calling people on the phone for a Sunday afternoon chat. Before you know it I’ll be doing crossword puzzles, ironing sheets, and crocheting Christmas gifts which is actually not a bad idea as I have always wanted to learn how to crochet. But right now I am so ridiculously bored I am crawling out of my skin. I am probably the only person to complain about being well-rested. More like restless. I have already worked out, read a book, went on a walk, cooked food, watched a movie, had a two and a half hour Skype call, and obviously rang practically everyone in my contact list. It has been a long time where Sunday felt this way. So terrible. So lonely. So damn boring.
“I am just beginning to get to know you but I know when a woman falls in love! You had that look on your face.”
Toward the end of each semester I start to get reallllly bored of things being so serious. I just want to talk about The Real Housewives and boys and shopping and anything superficial. Well now I have found I am so sick of talking about love and relationships and connections and why why “why is he/she doing this wahhh!” Ugh! If I have to sit and analyze any more of this bullshit, I am going to go insane. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe boredom is the solution to moving on for real. Because now I find I can’t wait for intellectual stimulation which is a good place to be in right before school is about to start. Yes, please feed my brain, it is starving! Bombard me with HBR and CSR and NPR. Send me a subscription of The Economist and take away my Us Weekly! Sigh. Why is life so complicated?