Ha, ha yeah, typical, always having a lot going on. I still do the marketing events which is basically getting paid to smile and talk to people while drinking cheap champagne for a few hours – you don’t have to use your brain at all, it’s awesome! They needed help through the fall so fuck it, why not and sometimes my friend James works the events with me which means we cause trouble.
I also do a little bit of visual merchandising for a men’s line at two of the major department stores – again, brainless work but I may end up dropping that. The company that hired me to do the visual merchandising offered me a part-time recruiter position at their corporate office which was totally unexpected. It’s seasonal so not permanent, which is perfect!
The timing of all of this just happened to be good and I needed to make money but without the commitment, if that makes any sense. But the reality is, all of these things are temporary and will be ending soon, so it eliminates the pressure which is such a switch from when I was working full-time and in school. All of my classes are in the evening and so far I don’t feel stretched too thin but the last month of school is always the hardest, so we’ll see. I absolutely do not want to work during my final semester and I am trying to position myself to go back to work for real and that is a job within itself but school is the top priority, period, and that makes a big difference. I am also still on academic probation but I try not to allow the pressure of this to take over.
But with that said, yes! I am still on track to graduate this spring which to be honest is hitting me hard because, wow! Grad life is almost over! So I am appreciating every, single second of it which makes me love school even more and forces me to work hard. When you start to make the most of something it doesn’t feel as though you are giving away too much of yourself. You appreciate what used to be stressful. You start to find the time spent in the car during your commute as time to take a deep breath.
But to answer your question, I am able to balance it all because I don’t take on anything that doesn’t bring added value to my life and I make sure to take care of myself first. Even if that means saying NO to things all of the time, which isn’t always fun but whatever. It is essential to do what makes you feel productive and happy and energized, otherwise you become exhausted and miserable and what’s the point? I have learned this by making so many mistakes, particularly last spring when my hair started falling out again from doing too much shit that I hated and for all of the wrong reasons. Reasons to make me forget about him and the fact that I was “stuck” in the U.S., which only backfired because once I had too much time on my hands over the summer I completely fell apart, so there’s been an emotional underlining to all of this too. Interestingly enough we have managed to remain very close even with so many changes and cities and countries and that’s what keeps me going. This entire experience with him motivates me in different ways and right now I don’t want to sit with the loneliness or think about this distance. Especially with the holidays coming (but my brother will be home this year and that will be awesome).
Perhaps this gives you a sense of why I really want to connect right now. I am craving that bonding you would get simply from having brunch with a good friend. I miss our chats.